People that have known me from 2015 to 2018 know me as a skinny girl ๐.
Actually, I was also tiny when my mum gave birth to me. Along the line, I became fat and I reduced again after I fell sick.
I could remember my mum would tell me that I have the tendency to be fat and I should not be taking sugar ๐คทโโ๏ธ.
Then, in my house, we rarely take sugar. As for soft drinks, it used to be on special occasions that we get to take soft drinks or when we are sick ๐.
You know when you are sick and you are unable to eat.
I could remember on one occasion that I went home from school and my mum said I should take soft drink as per she was doing “welcome back home something.”
My brother (Toyin) had to ask her if I was sick ๐คฃ.
Because the boy knew there was no special occasion, then that means I must have been sick for taking soft drinks ๐.
However, things changed for me in my 400 level. Well, I had some people that influenced me ๐ and I started taking soft drinks like water.
But you see, that’s not not even the issue. All along then, I was really suffering. I was seriously going thorough so many things that I could not open up to anyone, not even my parents.
It started affecting me.
People kept seeing a smiling girl but trust me, I was dying inside. I was emotionally stressed and disturbed.
I would cry like there was no tomorrow ๐.
I remembered on one of the strike we had, I was at home when I started crying.
I cried to the point that my dad was so confused and worried. He asked me what happened and I kept saying NOTHING.
Eventually, I resorted to what is called EMOTIONAL EATING. People who emotionally eat reach for food several times to to stifle anger, depression or negative feelings. Read more about emotional eating here.
So, whenever I was angry, sad, or depressed, I would just eat ๐คง. Well, there is no better way to explain it than that.
I would take soft drinks because I felt I needed sugar to calm down.
I really don’t eat many foods as such but the little I know how to eat (rice and bread especially), I abused them.
So, I started getting fat little by little ๐. The very first person that noticed was a friend from and that was shortly after my final year defence, I guess. He jokingly said it was a good thing to finish school.
It was in my 400level I noticed I have started having big tummy ๐. That was how I made one concortion that I started drinking. At a point, I started drinking coconut oil too.
That same year, I went for NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) and that was the height of it all. Click here to download my book titled MY NYSC JOURNAL.
I got fatter during my NYSC days and I came back.
At that time, I was already conscious of my weight even without anybody telling me.
That was how I registered for one fit fam class like that. I paid for it but men and brethren, I could not cope ๐ฅ.
In that program, we were meant to first take detox water and some specific fruits for the first 4 days. It was like torture ๐คฃ. I couldn’t last for 48 hours sha.
Also, we were given a food time tabe.
Oats was part of the food in the timetable of which I don’t like too.
Then, we were to be doing 100 skips per day.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have money to buy skipping ropes. Neither do I have money to buy fruits and other foods needed.
That’s how I gave up and I kept eating normal food again.
Eventually, I came back home from NYSC and that was the beginning of body shaming for me.
People said all sorts of things.
Let me tell you some ๐
๐Whenever an issue of food comes up, some people will jokingly said that I do not need to eat again because I was already fat.
๐Some people said very soon, entrance of the door won’t contain me again.
๐Someone said I have bloated up.
๐Someone saw my before picture one day and I used to fast during those when I was skinny l and that I had fire. Meaning that I no longer fast that’s why I was fat. You get? ๐. Funny something. When in reality, reverse was the case.
๐Someone was told me that see how fat I was and I had not even given birth. That person met someone married around that time and said, “Awwww, I like her stature despite being married”. Invariably, trying to spite me that isn’t married but fat ๐คฃ.
๐The worst part was when my friends started seeing me and they would laugh.
๐Then, people on this social media (WhatsApp especially ๐) would comment on my pictures and be saying things like” Ah, Lizzy, you are now fat ooooh”. Someone that we haven’t chatted in months too would only comment on my fatness ๐คทโโ๏ธ.
๐One of the most funny part was when a brother told me that DO I KNOW THAT BROTHERS DON’T LIKE FAT PEOPLE ๐คฃ๐.
Wetin concern me with brothers? ๐คทโโ๏ธ. I will not marry all the brothers in this world. Abi?
๐One guy also saw me one day and said he is even better than me.
Doing fatness comparison.
How many do I want to even say. Let me just keep the rest to myself.
Eventually, I started having know self esteem in myself ๐ณ. I reduced posting pictures. And I have always been a picture freak.
Whenever anyone talks about being fat, my mood will just change. I almost started getting rude to anyone that said. I became so sensitive to words. And as someone that loves word of affirmation very well, it was easy to get offended by words too.
To be sincere, many people offended me through their words. Some I told them, some I just let it slide. And I don’t forget words that easily oooo! ๐คฃ
Everyone that talked never knew the reason I got fat neither were they ready to provide solution.
All they knew how to do was just talk ๐.
When I was so much in distress, were they there to help me?
Eventually, I had to talk to myself and stopped allowing people’s word get to me. I built my self esteem back and I started liking my stature back. My dad and brother (Tope) will tell me that I should not mind what people say. They became my biggest fans ๐.
So, whenever anyone say something, I’d just brush it off ๐คช.
Instead of worrying about what people say, I decided to deal with the root cause first. I needed spiritual, emotional and mental healing first and that was what I focused on.
SO WHY AND HOW DID I EVENTUALLY LOSE WEIGHT? ๐คทโโ๏ธ
Fast forward to February this year when we had 5 years anniversary and dinner program on BUD.
On that night, we checked our weight and height and realized I was weighing 74kg. I calculated my Body Mass Index (BMI) and I fell into the category of people that are overweight ๐โโ๏ธ.
Of course, I have always known the health effects of being overweight and all.
So, that was when I decided I needed to do something.
I researched and researched and researched.
Everything keeps falling back to dieting and exercising ๐ฅ. And to be truthful, these 2 things are not easy. I have tried them on several occasions before then and I failed ๐คง.
Fast forward to March, I joined Immerse Circle and the first coaching webinar I attended was with Coach Ehiaza. That day was when my understanding got enlightened.
Coach E literally said it all that day ๐.
From there, I got to understand that trying to lose weight is not to impress people.
We need a big WHY.
There and then, I knew the reason I wanted to lose weight and start mindful eating was for my health.
Earlier that week, I had sent to my accountability partner (Becca) that I would not take any soft drink for 6 days ๐. Since I was already addicted to soft drinks long ago, it was still part of my routine to take it.
But after the coaching call on that day, I decided that it will not just be for 6 days again but I will extend it.
And I haven’t taken a single drop of any soft drink since April 19th till today. Over 3 months!
I started reaching out to many people on how to lose weight.
I read, read and read.
I watched YouTube videos as well. I was looking for easy and fast methods ๐. I will talk about this one in part 2 of this story. I will also talk about methods that worked and is still working for me. I will also mention those that helped me directly and indirectly.
But before I end this part 1, I will love to say the following:
1) Stop body shaming people.
Body shaming is very bad.
If someone is fat, people will talk. If you are slim, it’s another problem again.
Funny how some of those people that accused me of being fat are the one telling my neck is getting long again ๐. Very funny something!
It’s not just about body size alone. Please, stop body shaming of any kind.
Someone is dark, short, tall, or whatever is not yours to talk about anyhow.
2) You never know why some people gained weight or lost weight in the first place. There are so many factors for many people. I just shared mine. Someone’s own might be different.
So, be nice enough so that your words don’t compound problem for the person.
Do you know they certain drugs make some people fat too?
What of someone that just had an evacuation and is suffering from hormonal imbalance and got fat.
What if someone is going through emotional stress?
3) Instead of just saying, you are fat or you are slim to just anybody in a demeaning way, please and please try and help the person instead.
4) Be interested in people’s welfare, not just about the physique alone. Ask how people are doing instead of chanting how fat they are.
5) Whether you are fat or slim, please don’t let that dwindle your self esteem. Love up on yourself my dear.
6) If you are fat, don’t let the reason for trying to lose weight be for body goals. Your WHY should be bigger than that.
Your goal should be for fitness health not weight loss.
7) Healthy lifestyle is important. It’s true that our body weight also determine how healthy we are.
So, it’s good to be conscious of living a healthy lifestyle.
8) Weight loss is not a sudden something that jumps on anyone. It takes time and efforts.
Don’t in the name of weight loss overdo yourself.
Some people will be looking for how get slim in 3 days. Better don’t kill yourself ๐.
9) Again and again, I will love to say that the world will be a better place if we mind what we say and how we talk.
If you are reading this article and you have felt bad before as a result of what people have told you about your stature, I want to put all that behind you.
Love up on yourself.
Build your confidence back
Then, a tart taking baby steps on how to ensure you are at the normal weight needed for your being healthy.
We will talk more on this in the next episode
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