July 2021

People that have known me from 2015 to 2018 know me as a skinny girl 😂. Actually, I was also tiny when my mum gave birth to me. Along the line, I became fat and I reduced again after I fell sick. I could remember my mum would tell me that I have the tendency to be fat and I should not be taking sugar 🤷‍♀️. Then, in my house, we rarely take sugar. As for soft drinks, it used to be on special occasions that we get to take soft drinks or when we are sick 😂. You know when you are sick and you are unable to eat. I could remember on one occasion that I went home from school and my mum said I should take soft drink as per she was doing “welcome back home something.” My brother (Toyin) had to ask her if I was sick 🤣. Because the boy knew there was no special occasion, then that means I must have been sick for taking soft drinks 😄. However, things changed for me in my 400 level. Well, I had some people that influenced me 😅 and I started taking soft drinks like water. But you see, that’s not not even the issue. All along then, I was really suffering. I was seriously going thorough so many things that I could not open up to anyone, not even my parents. It started affecting me. People kept seeing a smiling girl but trust me, I was dying inside. I was emotionally stressed and disturbed. I would cry like there was no tomorrow 😁. I remembered on one of the strike we had, I was at home when I started crying. I cried to the point that my dad was so confused and worried. He asked me what happened and I kept saying NOTHING. Eventually, I resorted to what is called EMOTIONAL EATING. People who emotionally eat reach for food several times to to stifle anger, depression or negative feelings. Read more about emotional eating here. So, whenever I was angry, sad, or depressed, I would just eat 🤧. Well, there is no better way to explain it than that. I would take soft drinks because I felt I needed sugar to calm down. I really don’t eat many foods as such but the little I know how to eat (rice and bread especially), I abused them. So, I started getting fat little by little 🌚. The very first person that noticed was a friend from and that was shortly after my final year defence, I guess. He jokingly said it was a good thing to finish school.   It was in my 400level I noticed I have started having big tummy 😂. That was how I made one concortion that I started drinking. At a point, I started drinking coconut oil too. That same year, I went for NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) and that was the height of it all. Click here to download my book titled MY NYSC JOURNAL. I got fatter during my NYSC days and I came back. At that time, I was already conscious of my weight even without anybody telling me. That was how I registered for one fit fam class like that. I paid for it but men and brethren, I could not cope 😥. In that program, we were meant to first take detox water and some specific fruits for the first 4 days. It was like torture 🤣. I couldn’t last for 48 hours sha. Also, we were given a food time tabe. Oats was part of the food in the timetable of which I don’t like too. Then, we were to be doing 100 skips per day. Unfortunately, I didn’t have money to buy skipping ropes. Neither do I have money to buy fruits and other foods needed. That’s how I gave up and I kept eating normal food again. Eventually, I came back home from NYSC and that was the beginning of body shaming for me. People said all sorts of things. Let me tell you some 😂 📍Whenever an issue of food comes up, some people will jokingly said that I do not need to eat again because I was already fat. 📍Some people said very soon, entrance of the door won’t contain me again. 📍Someone said I have bloated up. 📍Someone saw my before picture one day and I used to fast during those when I was skinny l and that I had fire. Meaning that I no longer fast that’s why I was fat. You get? 😂. Funny something. When in reality, reverse was the case. 📍Someone was told me that see how fat I was and I had not even given birth. That person met someone married around that time and said, “Awwww, I like her stature despite being married”. Invariably, trying to spite me that isn’t married but fat 🤣. 📍The worst part was when my friends started seeing me and they would laugh. 📍Then, people on this social media (WhatsApp especially 🌚) would comment on my pictures and be saying things like” Ah, Lizzy, you are now fat ooooh”. Someone that we haven’t chatted in months too would only comment on my fatness 🤷‍♀️. 📍One of the most funny part was when a brother told me that DO I KNOW THAT BROTHERS DON’T LIKE FAT PEOPLE 🤣😂. Wetin concern me with brothers? 🤷‍♀️. I will not marry all the brothers in this world. Abi? 📍One guy also saw me one day and said he is even better than me. Doing fatness comparison. How many do I want to even say. Let me just keep the rest to myself. Eventually, I started having know self esteem in myself 😳. I reduced posting pictures. And I have always been a picture freak. Whenever anyone talks about being fat, my mood will just change. I almost started getting rude to anyone that said. I became so sensitive to words. And