Everyone at one point or the other must have had a roommate while some still do. Even if anyone says he/she hasn’t had any before, such a one must have at least lived with someone. No one lives alone throughout life.
And in actual fact, living with someone other than yourself is hard work even if the person is saved, sanctified and spirit filled.
The reason for this is simple!
We all are different in our make ups, thoughts, backgrounds, temperaments, and experiences.
As much as some roommates can be sweet and loving, it is also possible to meet difficult ones, right?
Let me quickly do a brief summary of my experience 👇
I started having roommates from Junior Secondary School 1 because I attended a boarding school. Well, it was one local boarding school though 😁.
The only provision my mum gave me while going to the hostel for the first time was gaari 🤷♀️. I don’t even know there were things called golden morn or cornflakes at that time. Reason why I still don’t like most of them.
That was the beginning of mocking from other co-boarders. I couldn’t relate well with my co-boarders.
Fast forward to when I got to Junior Secondary School 2, we were only 2 girls left in the hostel 🤷♀️. (You know I already said it was a local boarding school I attended 😇). You see this other girl that was left showed me what I call PEPPER.
She bullied me so much. Actually, she was meant to be my senior but she repeated a class thereby making us classmates.
It was from her I learnt what is called LESBIANISM 🤨.
She left when were in Junior Secondary School 3 after she decided to join witchcraft in order to do evil to me and some other fellows 😏 and God exposed her intentions.
At the long run, I had to start living with my principal’s children (they were all female), so they felt that will be okay for me. By then, we had moved to our new and permanent hostel. We had a lots of fights but we came out stronger after we left.
Fast forward to the University days, I had 4 roommates in my 100 level days. Well, I can say they were the best set of roommates because we all got along pretty well. Then in 200level, I had another set of 5 roommates. One day, I had an issue with my one of my roommates that made I cried.
When I got to 300level, I had another set of 5 roommates. My bunkmate was even my church member but my people, she frustrated my life.
I was in 300level while she was in 100level but she was older than me though. To turn on the bed alone was an issue. To come down from the up bunk was another issue😇. In my final year, I had another set of roommates as well.
One day, one of them had a little issue with my side mate. And like a good child that I am, I decided to step in peacefully. My people, probably my timing was wrong but my side mate lashed me so much with words and I cried so much. If you beat me, I might not cry but if you talk to me roughly I will cry.
In short, have 17 roommates while in University of Ibadan, so that means I lived with 17 different personalities.
Now to this NYSC period. There is this lady that the church asked to stay with me till she settled her PPA and get her accommodation.
So far so good, I have learnt so much from more than 25 people I’ve ever lived with in my life which I will love to share.
Whether you have difficult roommates or you might have roommates later, these are what you need to do. These also applies on how to relate with your classmates
1) You need to understand that everyone is unique and different.
Therefore, the way you relate with one person might not work with another person. Learn to study one’s personality first and deal with such one accordingly.
This principle made me became so friendly with all my roommates I’ve ever had even to those we once had clashes.
I see the need to approach each one accordingly.
Some people are extrovert while are introverts.
Some people are playful while some are not.
Some people are dirty while some are not 😜
Some people have rough backgrounds while some have smooth ones.
2) Always pre approve forgiveness: My people, there is no how you’ll live with someone and wouldn’t step on each other’s toes at one point or the other. However, learning to forgive in advance will help you overlook even the biggest of all offences.
3) Learn to be patient: Patience is a virtue that every Christian needs to possess. If you are someone who easily gets irritated at little things, you’ll always have issue with your which and classmates which is very bad.
In a situation when you even have more than 1 roommates, extra patience is even needed.
4) Learn to investigate before acting: In a situation when an issue happens, make sure you investigate and make good findings before jumping into conclusions.
Don’t hear witness of something you don’t know unless you have verifies over and over again.
5) Learn to avoid ugly situations: When you already see signs of something ensuing between you and your roommate(s), try to avoid the situation in advance. In situations when living with someone is even extremely difficult, you can avoid by leaving the room if possible.
Imagine your roommate is a serious threat to your spiritual life, you have to escape for thy life. Imagine your roommate is someone that brings guys to the room and they walk around nakedly 🤷♀️. Or your roommate is the one making you sin just like the one I had back while in Junior Secondary School 2.
Imagine your roommate is the one that have threatened to poison you before, won’t you run?😁
6) Talk to someone: When you find yourself in extreme situations with your roommates and the issue is eating you up, please talk to someone who can give you godly advice.
7) Always speak graciously: The Bible even says 👇
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one – Colossians 4:16
Evil words destroy one’s friends; wise discernment rescues the godly. – Proverbs 11:9
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. – Proverbs 15:4
A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook. – Proverbs 18:4
These verses have explained this point better. To live peacefully and peaceably with anyone, our words must be gracious.
8) Be friendly, loving and lovable: You want your roommates to be friends with you, you have to show yourself friendly.
Let love flows through you.
Be kindhearted and accommodating.
9) Always render help: Try to offer help as much as you can. There is nothing bad in it if you help your roommates wash their plates or fetch water once a while. Imagine your roommate got angry with you over something and she came back to meet her plates washed by you, how do you think she will feel?
Help can come in any way or form. Just learn to always be of help, that’s all.
10) Be compassionate and considerate: In order to avoid clashes, try to be considerate of the person you’re staying with.
Personally, I don’t like it when my roommates just wake up and began to pray aloud 🤷♀️. Not because I don’t like prayers.
What if I am silently meditating or praying as well and you begin to move from one edge of the room and disturbing my own devotion.
There are times I do need to pray aloud as well and what I do is to move to the open space made available for students to pray.
Imagine one of your roommates just finished night reading and was about catching some sleep when you start your playing music with the highest volume, trust me, no matter how spirituality roommate might be, you’ll be stepping on the toes of such a one.
11) Set principles and boundaries: Let your roommates know who you are, what you stand for, what you don’t like so that no one will cross each other’s boundary.
12) Learn to say NO: As much as we need to be considerate, we should also learn to say NO in a cool way whenever we’re faced with the option of doing something that isn’t going down so well with us.
13) Communicate: Communication fosters relationship a lot. Try to be someone that opens up and speaks her mind. Talk out whatever might have not been allowing or might not allow peace in the room.
Talk about your differences, likes, dislikes, how you wish to relate, etc and reach a consensus.
14) Be truthful and honest: As Christians, let our Yea be Yea and our Nay be Nay. Don’t be changing characters like a chameleon.
15) Pray: I deliberately make this the last point though it is the most essential point.
Prayer is key in everything we do in life.
Before choosing a roommate, PRAY
While living with your roommate(s), keep PRAYING for them and peace among you.
When you’re hurt from what your roommates had done to you or having HARD time because of them, PRAY about it.
When you need to correct something about your roommates, PRAY
PRAY and ask for grace to love, live comfortably and be at peace with whoever you’re living with and also make use of all aforementioned points.
With all these, you’re sure going to get along with your roommates and classmates.