Many a times, we experience various blows of life that disrupt our emotional and mental well-being.
As we all know that emotional part of a man deals majorly with his emotions while mental partdeals with the mind.
Yes, my emotions had severally been toiled with in the past and my mind been drifted apart hereby leading to depression.
At cradle, I saw life being all rosy. I enjoyed the comfort of my home so much and I love everybody around me.
I believe there are no challenges in life and one could always get what he/she wanted.
My perspective to life changed when I began to experience betrayals, rejections & heartbreaks.
The first experience that left me heartbroken happened in my primary school days. A classmate lied against me which caused the headmaster to discipline me so much. I cried profusely and felt the end of the world should come.
Fast forward to secondary school, I experienced several heartbreaks, betrayals and break ups both with same sex and opposite sex.
Some of my female friends rejected me.
Some lied against me.
Some even molested me.
All these killed my self confidence. I was losing my mind and couldn’t get hold of myself anymore.
Then, at the beginning of senior secondary school, I ventured into dating relationships. It all seems to start well only for the relationship to hit a crash.
Wish I had known fully well that it was to early for me to venture into dating.
It was an experience that almost left me empty.
There was a particular day after the breakup incidence when I was frying meat in the kitchen and right before me, the meats were getting burnt and I never knew. Mum had to come into the kitchen and wasn’t aware of her presence as well.
It couldn’t explain what I was going through.
Other relationships stories came up as well after then.
As at that point, I did things irrationally.
Well, I have a long story which I won’t be able to dive into at this point.
Nevertheless, the important thing I’m grateful for is my ability to get over emotional and mental depression.
Feelings associated with depression include Weariness, Inferiority complex, Low Self Esteem, Sadness, Guilt, Moodiness, Anger, Hatred, Withdrawal, Loss of interest and Dejection..
All these characterized my life until I decided to take the bull by the horn.
I will love to share 7 major things that helped in getting over being depressed emotionally and mentally..
1) Getting over the past: The first thing to do in overcoming mental and emotional depression is getting over the past.
You shouldn’t allow your past to determine your future.
Only bring out lessons from the past to help you successfully attain the best in the future.
It’s difficulty to move forward if one keeps brooding over what had happened. Of course, it might not be easy to forget but is achievable with much discipline.
As best as you can, let go and forget the past. The past is gone and gone forever, you only have the present and future to invest in.
2) Be accountable: One of the causes of my emotional depression was being overly secretive. I was passing through challenges but couldn’t open up to anyone not even to my parents.
Many things kept eating me up and I was getting drowned in depression day by day. This was simply because I felt every human being is the same and wicked.
Of course, this is not so. As times goes on, I found people (goodly, godly and trustworthy) I could share my challenges with and they all helped me out.
I can boldly say God gave me divinely ordained mentors that helped me through.
To overcome that depression you are going through, speak out and be accountable to someone.
You will sure do yourself good by doing that.
3) Develop yourself: Yes, this is very crucial.
This begin with being yourself. Be purposeful. Set boundaries. Stand up for your values.
Be intentional about being happy.
Motivate and encourage yourself in the Lord.
Don’t be deterred. Refuse to be disturbed.
Identify your abilities and work on them.
4) Get busy: The popular adage says “the idle hand is the devil’s workshop”. This applies to your emotional and mental health as well. When you are just in a position thinking over and over on what you had experienced, you get weakened day by day.
The thoughts of the past keep flying across your mind frequently.
Rather than allow that, why don’t you get busy with something at each passing moments.
What can you do to get busy?
*You can learn a trade.
*Work on your talents and skills. Do you know how to draw? Please get busy with drawing. Do you know how to sing? Then, why not compose songs?
*Go for seminars.
*Read books (spiritual, educational, motivational, etc).
*Listen to godly and inspirational music.
*Move with like minded people.
*Find purpose and fulfil purpose.
5) Learn to forgive: No matter who or what might be behind your emotional instability or mental depression, learn to forgive.
Forgive those who in one way or the other are involved in your predicament.
This will help you get healed easily and faster as well.
And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself.
You might have probably made a mistake as a result of your own carelessness, ignorance or childishness which landed you in depression, still forgive yourself.
Do not condemn yourself forever.
I cried so much for the things I foolishly said or did. There are times I feel like beating myself, lol. Later on, I discovered I do not need such again. I only have to forgive myself and move on.
6) Be loving and lovable: As much as you can, express great amount of love to other people.
Inspire love. Be generous.
Show a little bit of love and kindness.
Wear a smile always.
7) Involve God: All aforementioned points wouldn’t work if you do not involve God.
I tried to help myself out trying various methods but all kept being futile until I involved God.
Trust me, it wouldn’t be easy for you getting over the past without God’s help.
And invariably, without getting over the past, you won’t be strong enough to develop yourself. Neither will you be able to find purpose talk less of being able to forgive and show love.
In short, God is over everything.
He knows our past and is ready to help us have a better future.
Until I realised God’s love for me, I kept on wallowing in depression, guilt and self pity.
Have a walking and working relationship with God.
Allow Him to work on you and heal your wounds.
Let Him be the centre of your life.
I will love to add this : Find Purpose before you find a Life Partner.
A lot of depression these days comes as a result of relationships break ups which is killing many emotionally and mentally.
Wait on God for the choice of a partner.
Also, wait for the right time.
You can sure be emotionally stable and mentally sound.